OCTOBER 3, 2011 = FEBRUARY 13, 2012

The day Adam got diagnosed was October 3, 2011.

October 3, 2011 was a rainy day.

Much like today.

That's how I knew it wouldn't be good news.

The oncologist we have been seeing at least once a month for the past 5 months came into the room a little sheepish.

He asked Adam how he had been feeling and if he had any lasting side effects from chemo so far since it has been six weeks since Adam's last treatment.

He was curious about his back pain and if he always had back pain or if he noticed anything new.

I sat silently, ready to vomit from anxiety, in the corner just listening.

For today was scan result day.

The oncologist said this,

"You know Adam this is really wierd, alright?"

In my mind I'm thinking...FABULOUS. 

He continues to tell us that the tumors that were on the CT scan when he was first diagnosed back in October were still there and still the same size.

Then, the weird part, he said that he had 3 additional swollen lymph nodes on the back of his stomach by his spine that were not on the scan back in October.

Yes, new ones.

FABULOUS.

Adam did some blood work and there were no signs of cancer in his blood.

YAY, REMISSION, right??

We hope so! 

The oncologist talked with a urologist and the radiologist.

None of them knew why the lymph nodes were on this new scan but weren't on the one 5 months ago.

Because the blood work show's that there isn't any cancer, it's leading them to believe that these lymph nodes are benign.

Long story short,

Adam is getting another PET scan and then we are meeting with the surgeon to discuss our options.

They want to do surgery to take them out and test them to see what's going on because not one, not two, but THREE trained professionals don't have an explanation.

From what little information the oncologist told us, the surgery won't be very fun being so close to his spine and having the lymph nodes be so tedious to remove.

If he doesn't do surgery, they will grow and cause problems later on.

REGARDLESS,

I'm just as numb as October 3, 2011.

EEEEEE

Yesterday was scan day!

Okay so I bet you're all reading this to find out the results.

SO sorry.

Not yet.

and trust me I CAN HARDLY SLEEP AT NIGHT!

But it's been so strange lately. 

I think that when something like this happens you just suck it up and deal with it.

And now that things are starting to slow down, the numbness is wearing off and I'm actually feeling the stress of the trial.

(This could be because about a month ago I stopped taking my "zombie" anxiety pills where I didn't feel much anyways..)

Weird, however, since the cancer should be gone.

I just get all nervous Adam is going to disappear and never come back and I'll be 20 and a widow!

okay yes this probably is my anxiety.

I just love him and I'm so proud of him for his attitude through this whole thing.

He is feeling tons better everyday.

We exercise about 5 times a week.

A combination of running and walking 3 miles.

He jokes around with me again.

He flirts with me again.

He wants to go out and do things again.

It's the best to have him BACK!

Cheesy, romantic, NEWLYWEDS, HERE WE COME!

MONDAY

Monday was Adam's last day of his last cycle of chemotherapy.

We woke up and naturally, he wasn't feeling well.

I tried to excite him by reminding him, "It's the last one!"

Didn't seem to help.

Because you see for Adam, the day doesn't really come until about a week later.

When he can finally drive again, and when he does not feel like puking every step he takes, and not feel disoriented.

It's when he can feel his legs, when he doesn't forget how to swallow, and when he remembers there is hope in getting better.

When he can run up a flight of stairs without feeling exhausted and his food tastes good again without 2 tablespoons of salt.

When every muscle in his body doesn't ache and when the bruises go away, and his hair grows back.

That's the day we're excited for!

Monday, I was a wreck.

I cried when I had to drop him off for his hardest and final treatment because I had to go back to work.

I cried on the 30 min drive back to DAVIS because I couldn't be there. 

I cried when I got to drive back down there to see him.

 I think I cried because I it was so obvious that God was there helping us through everything.

It was a struggle neither of us could have done alone.

And perhaps that's why we found out about the cancer AFTER we got married.

Adam shared with me this fortune he received while eating lunch on Monday.

If that isn't a tender mercy from God, then I don't know what is.

"Where there is no struggle, there is no strength."

Adam has a body scan on FEBRUARY 6, 2012.

Keep those prayers going til we know he is clear:)

Time Off.

Here's the thing.

My favorite thing about the holidays is relaxing and taking "time off."

Ergo, the reason for no blogging.

I like to do it, but not as much as some people.

And some days it most certainly feels more like a chore.

This is clearly not a post of perfectly set up Christmas trees with neatly wrapped presents and pictures of hot apple cider.

That's great if that's what your life is really like..but mine? Nah.

Adam and I still had a fantastic Christmas:)

But no time for cute pictures with moving into our new apartment in Davis.

We LOVE Davis:)

It was a heaven sent job opportunity with a two bedroom one full bath apartment.

Right close to downtown but far enough away that we're not trampling over pedestrians.

How could we resist??

We have been busy moving and celebrating Christmas and starting a new job.

We are so blessed to end the year this way! 

With all things we have learned and all the perspectives that have changed over the past four months,

we are excited to start a new year:)

I decided an end of the year photo shoot will be necessary.

A new tradition I decided just now:)

Here are a few pictures from our very first New Years Eve shoot.

Thanks to my prima for the beautiful shots portraying our trail, our love, and our friendship.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!:)

Big Girl?

So this is how it all happened.

I went to lunch on Tuesday with my mother-in-law and her ever-so-fabulous friend Becky.

Becky mentioned an apartment management position in Davis that was needing to be filled "yesterday".

We got home from lunch and I grabbed my laptop and Adam and we headed off to chemo.

There we updated our resumes and faxed them off to the property management company.

With a great referral from Becky's son and daughter-in-law, we got a call the next morning for an interview in Davis.

After two hours of questions and answers and viewing the complex, we rushed home to get to chemo again on Wednesday.

Thursday morning we called "Boss Lady" and got ourselves a JOB!!

This includes: a free two bedroom apartment and a full time job managing 48 units in Davis, California.

We move in on Monday and we are so so excited!!

This kind of stuff does not just happen to people. 

Thus the reason I know "all y'all's" prayers are working:)

But hello!!! 

Does this mean I'm a big girl now??

Married, Cancer, Managing Apartments??

All BEFORE I'm twenty-one??

Okay, okay little mija is growing up fast:)

 

Giving in the Family Room

Chemo is filled with so much holiday cheer this week!
Yesterday Adam was in a chair next to a lady who lost all her hair but was wearing a santa hat.
Not to mention her red shirt, black shoes, and "a little round belly that shook when she laughed like a bowl full of jelly."
She got a little fiesty with the nurse when she tried to stick her to get the IV in, but that's understandable.
All the nurses are wearing festive scrubs and around the holiday season the visitors start bringing gifts.
My Aunt came in and brought us a bag full of mandarin oranges.
DELICIOUS.
My grammy came the day before with a giant box filled with wrapped gifts.
Thinking she was going to be handing out a present to all the cancer patients in chemo that day I said,
"Uh, excuse me, what are you doing?"
"Well every year I do the Twelve Days of Christmas for people having a difficult time. And you, my dear, are having a difficult time."
Grammy has always been so selfless and thoughtful.
She has an unwavering faith and love for her Savior and shows that through her service.She provides all types of service for people older and younger than her, related and unrelated, more often than just this time of year.
With the box that she gave us we are able to open one present everyday til Christmas.
It has been so fun to grab a present on our way into chemo and open it while we're there.
I hope we can all grasp the true meaning of Christmas this holiday season by focusing on giving more of ourselves, the gift that only you can give.
Also, this is my Grammy.
And it's true, she doesn't have wrinkles:)
76 and looking gorgeous:)

Retiring

Ha. Retiring from blog world?

Seems like it right??

My apologies.

We have been so crazy filled with adventures!

This past week Adam and I took a trip to visit my family in Fresno.

And with this trip I realized how great my life is.

How many newly weds really get to spend every moment of everyday together?

NOT MANY.

Ergo, the reason I feel like we're already retired.

We wake up and go on walks in the morning.

We build gingerbread houses.

We make frequent trips to the hospital.

We pay extra attention to make sure we get enough fiber, fruits, and vegetables in our diet.

We travel.

We read books.

But mainly, we just hang out.

Needless to mention, going back to "work", is going to be difficult.

Adam had a doctors appointment this morning and guess what??

GOOD NEWS.

His cancer is in remission according to blood work.

But here's the tricky thing,

sometimes cancer markers aren't shown in blood work because they are so itty bitty.

Therefore, we must carry on through the last two cycles of chemo.

Starting Monday will be cycle three.

Then the next one will be the first week of January.

SO EXCITED for him to start feeling like a 24 year old and less of an old man.

He gets tired really easy from mediocre tasks but helps me with our Christmas crafts.

Speaking of, why doesn't everyone do homemade presents every year? 

I swear homemade stuff is the best.

Speaking of.....

My mom is a supervisor at work.
There is a competition of who can be the most festive with decorating there offices/cubicles.

They win a pizza party.

Anyone who knows my mother knows...

YOU GO BIG OR YOU GO HOME.

Ergo.....

Her office was transformed with two of her favorite helpers, Adam and I, into a gingerbread house.

If she doesn't win, I'll be angry.

Also, scratch that comment with going big or going home, when it comes to Christmas without the kiddos.

This is my mothers "Christmas Tree".

She really started slacking since I've been gone.

But got to give it to her, it's creative.